DH didn't get the job. we are both still looking. I'm going to sign up as a sub in the neighboring county. I thought real hard about it and I just don't think I can bring myself to sub in this county after the way they treated DH. I guess I might sign up here too, JIC there's no need for a sub in the next county on a given day. we are both continuing to look for jobs far and wide, sending resumes and applications all over. It's all very discouraging actually. why couldn't I be rich instead of so damn good looking?
So, anywho, the theme of the year is back..overwhelmed. I feel like nothing can be done for me short of surgery. I tried the counting calories thing for a day or two, in a feeble attempt to emulate my hero Beeshit Jone, but it was driving me insane. I hear...you must raise your heart rate 20 minutes each day...you only have to work out three times a week...you must do aerobic activity for 90 minutes every day if you want to lose weight...you need 3000 calories a day to maintain your weight....don't count calories watch portions...no you must count calories...no cut out carbs...no cut out fat...eat grapefruit...drink vinegar...gastric bypass is lookin better all the time folks. then I get this email today from healthy hearts or some other thing...and the subject line is "the healthy foods making you fat!" well shit now what? then there is the issue of where we live..don't get me wrong, I love my neighbors like a good christian should, but when I go out walking I usually want to be alone. I want to put on my headphones, blast some loud music, or a loud audio book occaisonally, and not be forced to engage in conversation with another person. every single time I go out to walk I get ambushed by my neighbor. she wants to walk with me. I can't be a shitheel and say no, but then I can't go a comfortable speed, I have to talk and try not to show how hard it is for me because I'm so pathetically out of shape. DH did clear off the treadmill last week, but every time I get on it, DS stands outside the bedroom door, beats on it WITH HIS HEAD!!!! and demands in that most undeniable of toddler voice to "gee ouda dere mommy!" that isn't so hard to deal with though. he gets over it after a while, but I swear that kid has a freakin rock for a head..he makes the door shudder in it's frame. I need to do something though. my body is craving exercise, fighting with itself. I've been having funny abdominal cramps and (TMI ALERT) pooing my brains out. I honestly don't know how I stay so fat when it seems I shit every 5 seconds.
Haven't weighed myself for a while, and haven't changed the battery in the scale either.

so estimate...weight 3,000 pounds
body fat
100%

sometimes I wish I could be anorexic, but I get too hungry.
bulimia is a waste of money, but then again so is eating in general. everything I eat turns to shit. we spend a lot of money on shit if you think on it.
well, time to get rid of this headache. I can go out drinking like a fool all night long and wake up the next day none the worse, but I eat one damn piece of bacon and my head enters a vise. maybe I should live on liquor!!!
I love all of you