ok folks, sorry about the last time. It was a case of PMS (pardon my screaming) that just happened to get posted all over the internet. I'm also just having a frustrating time right now. most of you who read this probably know what's going on, but if you don't, still looking for jobs: I have an interview at Greenbrier East on Wednesday, and I'm half terrified I'll actually get the job. mom's house is officially 'on the market." I put an ad in the paper starting..uhhh thurs. I think?? and no one has called. I also put an ad in the ad bulletin, but it won't start to run till tuesday. everything is just in limbo. the other night reality broke through my drug induced optimism..what if neither one of us gets a job? what if nobody buys the house? what if we end up on the street? ok I know that probably won't happen...but geez this whole thing just sux. then, the prospect of this job is terrifying me. I know that God will not give me anything I can't handle, but sometimes I wonder.
I can declare the painting of mom's house officially finished. I went by myself yesterday, and finished up all I'm gonna finish. It's not perfect, but it's a damn sight better that it was. I didn't have any music to listen to yesterday..I was playing CD's on the portable DVD player we got for the kids, but they have done something to it. it will only play certain CD's and the sound is distorted. So, there I was for 11 hours alone with my thoughts. mostly thought about how I wish mom could see all we've done. it almost looks like a completely different house. I also thought about cat piss. cat piss is everywhere and it pretty much never goes away. I did a real half ass job of painting the closet in the big bedroom just because I could not stand to swim around on that piss soaked floor. professional carpet cleaning is soooo worth the expense. I also had this song in my head all day. It's called "piss me off f**king jerk' and it has more cuss words in it than non cuss words. I sang it all day long. see what you get when you leave me alone with my thoughts?
I also had a lot of time to reflect on the modern wonders of spackle and paint. I think it would be possible, however ill advised, to build the interior of a house completely out if insulation-in-a-can and spackle. also, paint can be used for filling in cracks and holes. if you have the right tools with which to apply it, it can fill in some pretty large uglies.I also learned that high hiding white semi-gloss paint is a wonder. that stuff is almost like spreadable plastic. I have also learned that powder blue paint, nasty green paint, wallpaper and paneling are the
DEBIL!
I like to paint, but it will ba a long while before I do it again. I say that now, but if we buy a new house I bet the first thing I do is paint it colors that no one should be allowed to buy without a permit. I do, after all, have a blue living room. not sweet blue, not soft blue, not, thank the Lord above, POWDER BLUE, but medium, bright blue. I love it. it makes me feel like I'm sitting in the ocean. when we first moved in we tried painting it with a faux finish blending two different colors and they were too close to each other. it ended up being a browny-pink color and made you feel like you were sitting inside a giant labia. had to go.
SOOO anyway, I have not weighed myself in a month. I'm afraid to. I don't want to see. I know I should since I'm actually sitting here writing in this thing that is to be my weight loss journal, but geez I just cannot bear to get on that scale and have it beep at me and accuse me of trying to kill it. I wish that those scales that tell you how many pounds you are overweight from your ideal would just tell you how undertall you are....OOOH well to be my ideal weight I only have to grow...uhhhh...15 inches. gotta go...have an appointment to be put in traction! It' may sound silly but I swear sometimes I think it would be easier to will myself to grow taller rather than lose this weight. eating well is expensive.
so maybe I'll weight myself later, after I wash a big damn bunch of dishes and maybe do a workout video. my horoscope said to get my thoughts down on paper, and I guess this is my generations equivalent.
till next time....love, peace, and lack of illness
A