My little boy has pneumonia. He's doing fine, but this is terrifying, coupled with the "moomy guilt" that it must somehow be my fault since I am, after all, the mother and should have protected him from the evil illness. I can't help but think if I didn't have to work, and he didn't have to go to daycare, that this would not have happened. Oh this is so fun.

I'll probably get written up at work now too. I'm only a long term sub, so I can't call the sub system to report an absence. I got a memo at the beginning of the year that said if I was going to be absent I was to call the help desk at the sub office. I did that when Sophia was sick and it did no good whatsoever, but I did it again last night (I was able to tell them on tuesday that I would be out yesterday) I also sent my principal an email with plans and some other stuff about pulling my kids for rehearsal. she didn't get it and called me at 8:05 to ask, basically, where the fuck am I? I told her I sent her an email, but she didn't get it...I sent it again, and again to her personal email address, she still didn't get it. What could I have done differently? I should have called the school...I relied on the email and I should not have done that. Oh well, done bun can't be undone. I am now going to begin telling myself not to worry, that this one small incident will not effect my overall excellent reputation, that I will not be blackballed from every job I attempt to get, that I will not be barred from the teaching profession or asked to leave my job...will not will not will not. Why oh why will my brain never be quiet?
I'm actively concerned about the concert..I hope it goes well. I still have some practicing to do, b ut I think once all the classes are together it will be ok.

So I guess things are shitty as per usual..no I shouldn't say that. I have a lot of good things in my life Never mind the bad. I am officially down 70 lbs., and according to the "calculate your BMI" am now only obese. in 30 more lbs. I'll be "slightly overweight"! yay. a bit more upbeat song, one I have listened to a lot in the last coupke of months...lyrics for your pleasure.


Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside,
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Got to love that afro hair do.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

'Twas more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, you're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow