feeling low today, probably the weather. I called around to find out about subbing, and I have to get my wv certif. I've been putting it off, but I guess I can't anymore. went out alone yesterday to get fingerprinted, for my FBI background check, and today I have to go dig up a notary somwhere and get a $50 money order so they can find out I'm not a criminal or a sex offender or anything like that. I know why they do it, but sometimes I get a little irritated that everybody has to be treated like a criminal now. no one trusts anyone anymore and it's a bit irritating.
I tried to walk on the treadmill last night. as soon as I statred it up both kids came running and tried to jump on it. by the time they were both asleep it was 11 pm and I was too tired to walk. I guess I'll get up real early and do it. I can't seem to get out of this fog. At least I managed to get rid of the cat that peed repeatedly on our bed. I thought I'd feel really guilty after taking her to the shelter, but I don't. my main concern was that DD not know what was happeneing, and that worked out pretty well. she has only asked about the cat once, and I told her sassy got mad and went to live somewhere else. she seemed to accept that pretty readily, and hasn't said another word about it. went to the grocery store and got some healthy food, ate it or some of it, last night and now am crapping all day. what can I do about this? any suggestions? I'M SICK OF CRAPPING ALL THE TIME!!!!!!
well, beyond my butt, things are ok I guess. I did change the battery in the scale, so no more pretending I'm not a fat ass. love to get on there and see that I'm so weak that I've lost all the ground I've gained. I need to get some new clothes if I'm going to be teaching, but I look like a big lump of shit in everything I try on. I tried looking at clothes yesterday and realized I have a strong tendency to buy similar crap. oh well, maybe next time....
anyway, time to face the music, or the beeping scale as it were


oh gawd


weight 299
bfp 46

that means 137 pounds of my ass is pure fat
if I reach my ideal, according to doc, of 180, and my bfp is 25, which is normal average for women, then I officially need to lose

92 pounds
let's keep this inperspective here...I ionly have to lose 10 pounds nine times
or five pounds 20 times..oooh that seems steep. 10 lbs is better
well I guess I'll get on the treadmill