Mom used to tell me that life is what you make of it. I;m trying so hard to stay positive. I'm trying to tell myself that I have to be positive. I saw a movie last night called the pursuit of happyness. Will smith played a single father, tryig to become a stockbroker, in an unpaid internship trying to raise his sone. I saw everything he went through, and felt kind of weak for feeling so sorry for myself lately. I really don't know what to do, and I feel june pressing down on me like a 1,000lb. weight, but maybe something will have happened for me by then. I know that sitting around will not make it happen. I have to go out and do it myself.

There are so many things I wish I could say on here, so many things but too many people know where I am. I wish I could call someone, but it's 25 after 10 and no one wants to hear me whining, especially this lateI fell very alone.

this post was not supposed to be this way. I was supposed to talk about turning over a new leaf, but maybe I'm not ready.whatever happens, I'm still thankful that I have a roof over my head, and a job for a while.