no weeird ghosts for the last couple nights..good job.
been thinking about clothes a lot lately. If I go back to work, I will have to buy some new clothes..my wardrobe has slowly migrated away from professional clothing to "mom jeans" and floppy tee-shirts. I don't have very much that would be suitable to wear to work, at least that fits me. I hate buying clothes more than I can possibly express. it SUX!!!!!! I can find nothing I like that fits me, nothing that fits me that looks good on me, just a cycle. fashion designers and clothing companies have the idea that fat people, especially fat women, will not buy nice clothes because they hate themselves and won't spend any money. the fact is there is just not that much for us to choose from. (and a lot of fat people are poor...) even Lane Bryant, which I used to adore, sells clothes that are styled like the "popular" fashions, but make no allowances for the larger womans body shape. I do not need a top that shows my belly...nobody wants to see that. I need nice, professioanl casual clothes that don't look like I'm trying to be a teenager. another thing that annoys the living piss out of me is this move toward "stretch" in every type of pants on the market. I don't want stretchy pants!!! I don't want my pants to even touch me, let alone cling to my jelly rolls and cellulite. I don't mind if other people do, but does everything have to be stretch? why not keep te regular old cotton for us girls with a modicum of decncy? I bought three really nice shirts at wal*mart last spring. two of them were stretch, and one was not. they were all the same size. the plain old cotton one was just fine. I put the stretch ones on and there is my belly fat...there is my ass cause the hem is too high..and there is no way to pull it down or strecth it around cause it just bounces right back. gawd. I saw a t-shirt in a catalouge the last time I was at Uncle M's house.. it said COVER YOUR FAT. I'm sure it was meant for some smart-ass skinny fucker to wear, since it only went up to size large, but I agree totally with the sentiment. I'm gong to buy a big-ass t-shirt and make an iron on transfer that says that and wear it over my gigantic upper body. PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FAT ASS!!! I saw a woman this summer on the street where my mom's house is...giant thing, bigger than me if you can believe it...wearing big floppy shorts and some kind of bikini top...it was like a train wreck I couldn't stop looking! I wondered if it was real...it was horrible! I would never assualt the eyes of my fellow citizens by making them count my stretch marks. why do people do his? why!?!?!?
So anyway, I'm dreading the inevitable shopping..I'll have to do it even if I don't go back to work cause I don't have much in the way of winter apparel. ah who gives a rats patoot? there are a million things in the world to look at besides me...I just want to be comfortable!
weight 296.5 inching up..inching out.
love ya'll buy some clothes for me!

BIG P>S>
I AM ON BIRTHDAY CONTROL PILLS. THERE WILL BE NO MORE BIRTHDAYS!!!