ever heard yourself talk and feel like..if I was listening to me I'd think I was making excuses? I had that experience not too long ago..I was at my DC's house, and AM was asking me about going to the YMCA. I was telling her the reasons we stopped going (too far to drive, messing up kids routine, eating too much fast food etc.) and I just felt like I was saying the sun was in my eyes I had a runner in my hose, the dog ate my homework...I don't know sometimes it seems I have an excuse for everything, but what is the difference between a reason and an excuse?I guess there isn't much difference. are excuses lies? not always, they are just things that stop you but probably shouldn't..so I guess my reason could be another persons excuse. the reasons I have may not seem like a big deal to others, but to me they were deal breakers. so reason and excuses are usually in the eye of the beholder. there are some that are always excuses I guess, mostly they are lies. I remember this boy in the music department at MU whom I disliked greatly. we were in a woodwind techniques class together, and he was having difficulty learning to cross the break on the clarinet. this is an admittedly difficult thing to do, but when he couldn't do it he said there was something wrong with his instrument. that annoys me and I don't want to be like that, so I am constantly second guessing my own reasons. I think the biggest one is the walking. I want to walk I really do, and most people would probably like to have someone to walk with, but I just don't want to. I like to be (insert Greta Garbo here) alone. But I have disucssed that ad nauseum.
anyway, dd birthday is coming up. I guess we don't have to worry about DH Dad and S-mom, since they apparently aren't speaking to us, but we are scrambling trying to figure out how we are going to work it. We'll figger it out, we always do, but it's annoying. her first birthday we ended up having four parties, and we had to travel at least an hour, if not 2 or 3, to get to all but one. no fun for anybody. oh well,
so on the fitness front I have been pretty extraordinarily sedentary these last weeks, with the notable exception of pullin old smelly carpet out of my moms house. I have been wearing my pedometer, and have barely made it 1.5 miles each day. I just seem to have lost it. my give-a-shit is busted. it will come back I suppose, but it's just not there right now. I feel trapped on all sides. I can't eat that makes me fat. I can't work cause the damn FBI won't tell me if I'm a criminal or not. I can't smoke cigarettes for obvvious reasons. I can't go anywhere cos i'm broke. I can't go out for a walk vcos I can't be alone. I can't sell my moms house I can't sell my house turn turn turn turn turn no way OUT!
I wish I was one of those people who lost weight under stress.
weight 301.5
oh F**K
A Soprano Coloratura Diva and her Wild Tales of...
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
excuses excuses
i CONSIDERED THE oh I was yelling, sorry, excuses were pretty good reasons. It is hard when you live in bfe. Or as you so aptly put it. stickville. (branchland)? Gotta make the birthday simple for your family first. Why are they not speaking to you? That is just not right.